The Good, The Stu, and The MarySue
by Too.Obvious
Summary: Three of the world's biggest fandoms have had enough. The main characters are going to war against the Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus! But all is not what it seems, and there is a traitor amongst the Mary-Sue killers... T to be safe. This is a parody.
1. Declaring War

The Good, The Stu, The Mary-Sue-

A/N: Hello! This is making fun of all Mary-Sues out there that are not parodies. This is a parody, peeps. Deal with it.

I don't own any book series. This is not specifically making fun of anybody's character except for *insert most horrible Mary-Sue here*, as she is so horrendous. Mary-Sues suck, and all that. Peace out. There is breaking of the fourth wall in here! I don't own *insert same Mary-Sue here*, and I don't WANT to own her.

Chapter One-Declaring War

"We have to do something!" Katniss declared. "I am so God damn sick and tired of random OCs stealing Peeta!"

Gale winced. "And all those random Mary Sues are turning into my _wife_! What the hell is up with that?"

"Let's not forget that *insert Mary-Sue that I hate and don't own and will from now on call Ima Hog, no offense to anyone whose name is Ima or Hog*," Thresh's dad from District 11. "She got all the facts wrong and made herself perfect! Gag me!"

"They're polluting all the other fandoms, too." Peeta announced. "Just look at the Percy Jackson and the Harry Potter fandoms, those _things_ are everywhere!"

"Then it's settled!" Katniss decreed. "We shall call an across-dimension meeting to discuss how to kill all these Mary-Sues! If you're with me, say 'I'!"

"I!" Everyone yelled.

XxX~At the Meeting~XxX

"Hey!" Percy said. "If these Mary-Sues are monsters, then celestial bronze will kill them, right?" "They go against logic!" Hermione reasoned. "If so, then logic should kill them!"

"Alright, any more ideas?" Katniss yelled. "Now that we have a few ways to kill them, we need to set traps. Bait, anyone?"

Everyone automatically turned to Percy, Nico, Harry, and Gale-the most targeted of the victims. Each paled. "Oh, no." Nico said. "We are NEVER going near them EVER again!" Each teen nodded his head fervently in agreement.

Annabeth sighed. "We'll get you to do it sooner or later, guys. But for now, let's do some training. We need every fighter in the best shape he or she can be if we want to destroy those…_things_. They keep making me look like a female dog-in a _bad_ sense," she added quickly when Gale opened his mouth.

"Alright!" Hermione yelled. "Weapons over there! Logic over there! Stamina over here! Strength over there!" Demigods ran over to the different areas to supply weapons. The witches and wizards transfigured the rest. Each person ran over to the area they wanted to improve. Soon, there were grunts in the air, cries of "ow!", and sounds of feet thumping against hard-packed dirt.

Meanwhile, each fandom was thinking of their own plan. Percy was planning to take the strongest with him to the River Styx. He would never wish it on anyone, but it was only for a last resort. Annabeth was thinking of multiple ways to defeat those Mary-Sues with logic. Gale and Beetee were puzzling over the mechanic layout of a celestial bronze explosive. Katniss just fired arrows repeatedly into bulls-eyes, imagining the face of each OC that stole Peeta each time. Peeta was putting his camouflaging skills to the test by trying to turn people into Mary-Sues and Gary-Stues. Infiltration would be a good way to take the enemy down from the inside. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were at the stamina and endurance part of training-they were skilled with wands, but it was too easy to imagine a time where each of them would be wandless. Demigods stabbed at dummies with vengeance. Each and every person was straining their limits, but little did they know that they had a Mary-Sue in their midst…

A/ N: IT'S WAR!

Sorry, I had to do this fic. Who is the traitor? Find out next time, on Are You Smarter-I mean, The Good, The Stu, and The Sue!

~egummybear is out, man. Peace.


	2. The King and the Queen

The Good, the Stu, and the Mary-Sue

A/N: Hello everybody! Last time on Avatar: The Last Airbender-Oops! I meant the story, of course! *chuckles nervously* so anyway, please note that I wrote the following three chapters on my phone… I therefore apologize for the length of the chapter. Enjoy, and REVIEW PLEASE!

Demigod dreams suck.

Percy had known that for years.

Percy also knew that he had said that before.

Percy also wanted to stop talking in third person, as it was starting to get annoying for him.

Unfortunately for Percy, the writer wanted the story in third-person omniscient.

Percy imagined him throttling the author. It made him feel better, especially because the writer was making all the characters OOC.

Well, back to the story.

Percy was dreaming that he was in a dark room, surrounded by glowing Mary-Sues and Gary-Stues. There were two thrones at the head of the room, with a blonde Gary-Stu and a brown-haired Mary-Sue.

"We're little traitors, aren't we," the blond one said to the Mary-Sue.

Percy started sweating. The Mary-Sues and Gary-Stues were already undefeatable, save a few options. If people on their side went over, it was all over. The Resistance (hey, they chose it because it sounded cool, and it was what they did, you know… No?) would crumble. This was like the Second Titan War all over again.

The queen Mary-Sue giggled.

"Yes. We will take them down from the inside!"

Suddenly, her head snapped up and her eyes locked onto Percy's. Her eyes were mesmerizing, swirling with colors…

_Snap out of it,_ Percy told himself. The thing was, it was getting harder and harder to resist the Spell of the Mary-Sue.

"Intruder!"

Several occupants of the room screamed and fell.

"We didn't catch him! We're not PERFECT!" they wailed. They exploded into piles of glitter. Ugh.

The ones who sadly didn't vaporize advanced upon Percy-the boys ready to prove their worth, the girls acting, well… Fangirly, unfortunately. They were a disgrace to the human race, not that the human race itself isn't a disgrace. Suddenly, they were called off by the king and queen.

If you looked in Percy's mind, you would have seen this:

?

The King smiled.

"Perseus Jackson. You could join our ranks, you know. Get rid of those silly flaws that Rick Riordan gave you."

"Never!" Percy shouted in defiance.

The Queen laughed merrily-a sound like wind chimes-and slipped off her throne, gliding down to where Percy stood. She put her lips to his ear.

Percy tried his best to resist the Spell of the Mary-Sue. Her hand on his, feathery hair brushing his cheek, her soft pink lips on his ear… It took all he had to not kiss her for all life was worth. Even so, his body was shaking, his hands twitching. The King noticed this and smirked. Their plan was working.

The Queen also took note of this. Taking advantage, she pushed Percy to the ground, her mouth meeting his. With that, Percy's mind went blank. Thus is the evil of the Spell of the Mary-Sue.

Percy forgot about the war, that this was his enemy, that she was casting a spell. He kissed back. Hard. The King winced-oy, this was his _girlfriend_ that Percy was kissing-but the Queen broke off the kiss (after ten minutes or so). She whispered to Percy, _You will remember nothing of the other world._

Percy nodded numbly. The Queen's special skill, her parentage, and her Mary-Sueness could all together defeat _anyone_. Anyone. Even President Snow, for heaven's sake! Percy was under the Queen's power.

In the real world, the sleeping form of Perseus began to change…

A/N: Could this be… an actual plot? Nah… So, please REVIEW! Tell me if you think that this could actually be a passable parody!

Also, please note that I am not insulting newcomers to the marvelous world of Fanfiction. I'm parodying the ones that make us beg for the brain bleach. Thank you. Again, REVIEW!


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